Thursday, July 05, 2012


its weird feeling this strange in my own body
i visit past memories and they don't fit who ive become
where is the magic that helped me create?
if i try really hard i can still feel it deep inside,
but i cant reach it,
i cant touch it

i have the painful need to create
but i cant
just cant

i may be stable, i might be that person I'm supposed to be
but i don't feel like me anymore
i don't feel the need to grow,
to follow my dreams
I'm fine as i am right now,
and i know that's not all I'm meant to be

i cant make my self start
i just don't feel inspired
maybe i need some time alone,
some time for me
maybe i still need help

maybe i need to quit,
to go back,
let the dark take me in
and just learn to control it

maybe... that's not it

and a recurring thought keeps hitting me
and if it weren't for you
i might be gone now,
its just so strong what you make me feel,
I'm scared of what would become of you if i left
i know maybe you'll be ok, but if not?

and then i think maybe it was a way of protecting myself,
surrounding myself with all of you so i wouldn't want to go

i need help but i don't want to ask for it
I'm scared i will keep lying and end up the same

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